Day Two Blues

      Whenever I start a diet, day one is a shock, but I am full of enthusiasm for the changes taking place in my life. Then on day two I question what I have committed to and already want to quit. It is a crazy cycle I have to talk myself through. At work today I was on the look out for anything resembling cheer or happiness. Once I arrived home the phone calls and texts started up in connection with the Harvey project. I was determined to read part of my scripture assignment, but it was very difficult to feel the spirit. I read the talk Good, Better, Best on Sunday by Elder Oaks. In the talk he quotes the scripture that says, Come unto me, all ye that are heavy laden and I will give you rest. I am trying to be happy in the midst of crushing circumstances. In Helaman 3:34 it says the more humble part of the people suffered great persecution, and did wade through much affliction. Verse 35 says nevertheless the did fast and pray oft and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility. As I read fast and pray oft I wondered how often oft is? My desire is to do whatever it takes to feel the rest Jesus Christ can give me. I think I will be happy when I am there.

Happy is as happy does.

        Today is the first day of my practicum. My biggest worry is that I will forget to do it! Change always takes effort. Last Saturday Jen and I ran the Color Run in Tempe. We received two temporary tattoos in our goodie bag. The small one said The Color Run, which I applied to the top of my hand on the day of the race. The second one was bigger and it said...HAPPY, in bold black letters. As I've gone through the day today I thought about where to use it as a reminder. I thought about my arm and my leg. My arm would be obvious to me and a lot of other people, whereas my leg might not be obvious enough.
       As I listened in church today, I was heard the word happy a couple of times. As I read a couple of chapters in the Book of Mormon I read about contention and peace. At the end of the Super Bowl there was a lot of happy people and a lot of sad people. I also thought about questions I will ask my two interviewees.
      I had a couple of happy spontaneous moments today. One was when I bragged to my family members about the math test I aced last night after a lot of studying. I love to learn and love to get good grades. Knowing I do well on something gives me happy feelings. My work is stressful...I look for other peoples mistakes and get written up on a report when I miss those mistakes. I keep suggesting a report to keep track of our success in finding mistakes. I need to find a different job. The second happy feeling was when I apologized to my visiting teacher for being short with her on the phone. It took me three days to get the courage up and I apologized via text. I just knew I couldn't face her at church today without sending an apology. She was very kind and respond with a thank you. I am sincerely sorry and I won't feel awkward around her. Doing the right thing makes me happy.
     

What I want to remember to do:
1. Always give my best effort.
2. Do the right thing, even when it is hard.

Book of Mormon Practicum

I would like to practicum to include two parts. Initially I wanted to improve my journal writing. I am inconsistent at best when not assigned. As I was researching journal writing I noticed my patriarchal blessing and read through it. I was hoping to find a suggestion to write my life history or the mention of recording my life, but it doesn’t. Instead this caught my eye, “I bless you, dear daughter, with happiness. You are a worthy young girl. The Lord wants you to be happy, more happy than you have been at times.” Although no longer young, happiness is a chore for me. It is not my habit. Therefore, with permission I would like to keep a journal of the experiences and feelings of happiness I have. It will be beneficial to read articles about happiness and gospel living. I will look for and learn from other happy people.  I plan to write these feelings on my blog. I plan to learn the habits of journal writing and happiness at the same time.

                In a talk by Elder Benjamin de Hoyos of the Seventy we are taught that happiness is a condition of the soul. He said, “Life is good, if we live in such a way to make it so and happiness is the purpose of the gospel and the purpose of the redeeming Atonement for all men.  He then states that it is in “wanting to” that we can learn of God and be happy. 

                As I try to understand happiness I have looked at other people and have questioned if they were “born that way.” As with all others I have experienced difficult trials. I have kept a mental list of them so I can use when I need to defend or justify unhappy feelings. Then several years ago a widowed sister moved into my ward. Her husband had recently passed away. She was left with three sons to raise on her own. She had married her husband and moved here from Italy, so English was her second language. In her heavy Italian accented comments in Sunday School or Relief Society she reflected this tragedy in her life. Two years later her comments still reflected this tragedy. It was at this point I realized she was stuck and was in the habit of defining her life based on this experience. It was then that it clicked that I too was stuck and in the habit of defining my life by sad events. I believe happiness is not genetic, but learned and practiced. Again from Elder Hoyos in relation to happiness, this joyous state comes as a result of righteous living.   If I understand Elder Hoyes, righteous living brings happiness. I have the gospel and I am practicing my religion, so why am I so gloomy? 

                The Family Home Evening Resource Book states that a journal is a continuing record of meaningful experiences that affect our lives. We are therefore individually responsible to record the events of our lives. President Kimball said this, “Those who keep a personal journal are more likely to keep the Lord in remembrance in their daily lives” This aspect of journaling is a direct blessing for obeying the command to write our experiences in journals. A suggestion as to the actual writing was given by President Kimball, he said, “Your journal should contain your true self rather than a picture of you when you are ‘made up’ for a public performance. … The truth should be told, but we should not emphasize the negative.” Therefore journaling is a record of our experiences, helps keep the Lord in our remembrance, is a command, and should reflect our true selves.

            Two songs are sometimes combined together and it is called a mix up. My question is what happens when happy experiences are mixed up with journaling?

My plan is to

1.    Journal every day.

2.    Read 3 articles on the subject per week.

3.    Find and talk to 2 happy people every week. Report in my journaling who I talked to and what I learned from them.

4.    Look for the tender mercies of the Lord every day and include my discoveries in my journal writing.
5.    Pray for success in my practicum.

Book of Mormon Lesson 3 Activity 1

How to Prepare for Our Battle Against Satan

Alma 43:19-22,38  The Nephites had been prepared for war with shields and clothing to protect them during battle.

                                We protect ourselves from temptation through prayer, scripture study, and obedience.

Alma 43:23          Moroni sent men to communicate with Alma desiring that he inquire of the Lord if they go defend themselves against the Lamanites.

                                We can listen to and follow the counsel of the prophets.

Alma 43:26          The Nephites gathered together in battle to defend their lands, country, rights, and liberties.

                                We can exercise our right to vote, be involved in our communities to elect the best candidates and to enact laws that protect freedom and morality.

Alma 48:8-9        The Nephites fortified their cities by building forts and embankments. They placed extra men for protection at their weakest places.

                                We can                 fortify ourselves spiritually by reading scriptures, obeying commandments, serving others, etc. We can evaluate our weakness and double our efforts to improve those areas.

Alma 50:1            Between wars Moroni did not allow the people to stop making preparations for war. They continued to fortify all the cities against the Lamanites.

                                We are always obeying, praying, reading…even on the days we are feeling righteous. We do not take a break from strengthening ourselves, our testimonies, our resolve, our character…

Alma 59:9            Moroni sent reinforcements to the city of Nephihah as he recognized it is easier to retain the city than to fight to retake the city if it fell into the hands of the Lamanite.

                                A doctor once told me it is easier to keep weight off, than to take it off. As I exercise and diet to take weight off I recognize how true his words. It is so with any aspect of our lives. Any time we allow an action to become a habit , it is an uphill climb to remove the habit.

Understand the Enemy and His Strategy

Alma 43:7-8        Zarahemnah provoked anger within his followers against the Nephites with the intention to gain power over both his people and place the Nephites in bondage.

Alma 45:24          They grew proud because of exceeding riches. Did not walk uprightly before God.

Alma 46:8-10      Forgot God. Committed iniquity. Followed Satan. One wicked person has influence on others. Deceives through flattery. Desires to destroy the Church, liberty which is God given.

Alma 53:9, 60:15-16         Involved in iniquity and had dissension and intrigue among themselves. Unrighteousness within leadership and fighting within.

1.       Alma 60:23 & Alma 53:21

2.       Alma 53:21 This scripture states that because a certain group of men were taught to keep the commandments of God, they were men of truth and soberness. This scripture describes the two thousand stripling warriors. They had great faith and attribute their spiritual strength to the teaching of their mothers. I relate to this scripture from two angles. First, as a mother it is my desire that my children live lives of faith and pass their love of the gospel on to their children. My greatest heritage will be a righteous posterity. And second, as I mother it is first my responsibility to know what I teach to be true.  Elder Neal A Maxwell said it this way, “the mothers first had to know ‘it’ in such a way that the young men, observing them closely and hearing them(as is always the case with children observing parents), did ‘not doubt’ that their mothers knew that ‘it’ was true” (That My Family Should Partake [1974],58-59) Just as in placing the oxygen mask over ourselves first if the plane is in distress, I must know and live the gospel before I can teach and share with others.

Alma 60:23 I learned a life lesson last semester in my New Testament class. At the Last Supper Jesus told his disciples that one of their company would betray him. Upon hearing this, the apostles did not look suspiciously around at each other questioning which one would do the crime. Instead they asked the Savior, “Is it I?” From my point of reference, the Twelve are nearly perfect, now and then. My first thought was, why would they ask that? Surely they would know if they were involved in a plot to betray. Then when I put myself in their place and asked myself if I am capable of that sin or any other, I realized their humility in asking, “Is it I?”  I have used this question numerous times when I am in a situation where I am defending my behavior. If I simply ask myself, how I contributed to the situation, I have not yet had a time where I could have been more patient, more helpful, more sincere, etc and the negative situation may have been improved or eliminated. From this ongoing inner cleansing I am learning to be more Christ like. I believe I must improve myself first and most.

3.       A. Valiant for courage

B. Strong and active

C. True in all things

D. Sober

E. They were taught the commandments and kept them

F. Had faith in God

G. Did not fear death

H. Upheld liberty

I. Honored their mothers

J. Obeyed with exactness

K. Firm and undaunted

L. Protected by God as they fought with strength

M. Trusted in God

O. Prayerful and received answers to prayers

P. Remembered God from day to day and to keep His statutes continually

Q. Had faith in prophecy

R. Preserved them after receiving many wounds

The youth of today must be valiant just as the stripling warriors were. They must learn the commandments and follow them. They must follow the ways of the world in their standards. They must avoid pornography and addictive substances of all kinds. Those that set a goal to serve a mission and begin preparation at an early age will receive spiritual blessings. 

Book of Mormon Lesson Two Activity Two

Alma 37     Scripture Activity 2

1.      Hand the scriptures down to the next generation.

2.      By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.

3.      Scriptures enlarge our memory.

4.      Scriptures convince people of the error of their ways.

5.      Scriptures teach us of the error of our traditions.

6.      The scriptures bring us to the knowledge of Jesus Christ.

7.      Commandments of God are strict.

8.      If we keep the commandments we will prosper in the land.

9.      Breaking commandments results in things which are sacred being taken away.

10.  God will fulfill all his promises.

11.  Be humble, meek, lowly in heart, withstand every temptation of the devil, with faith on the Lord Jesus Christ.

1.      Yes, this tells us to teach our children the gospel.

2.      Yes, this tells us to make changes, even small changes will help us return to live with Heavenly Father.

3.      Yes, this tells us to read scriptures.

4.      Yes, this tells us to read scriptures.

5.      Yes, this tells us to read scriptures.

6.      Yes, this tells us that we must learn of Christ which teaches us about the Atonement.

7.      Yes, this tells us we can’t bend the rules and still receive desired blessings.

8.      Yes, this tells us not to break the commandments which take us away from Eternal life.

9.      Yes, this tells us that from our behavior we will lose sacred things.

10.  A promise.

11.  Yes, a list of ways to be righteous.

3.      Scriptures teach us the error of our ways (4) and be humble (11).  According to Elder Bednar, “By reading, studying, searching, and feasting…we can receive both spiritual direction and protection during our mortal journey.  I consistently read my scriptures. I also read commentaries along with. I realized last semester that I was learning at a greater level and gaining a stronger testimony due to the extra work expected of me in my New Testament class. And I learned a valuable lesson during one section in relation to being humble. I now want to keep this level of learning and growing and remember the importance of humility. My plan is to keep a journal with my scriptures so I can write down the impressions I feel as I read. In connection to humility I plan to humble myself to feel the spirit in my tv choices. I liked this comment in the student manual, “Conscience is a celestial spark which God put into every man for the purpose of saving the soul. Last semester we had an assignment to look at our entertainment choices. I recognized some of the tv programs I watched were not uplifting. It is humbling to admit my guilt, but there were a couple that were way too edgy. I decided at that time to remove the programs from my schedule. The result from this has been less desire to watch tv and more sensitivity in general to programming that is not uplifting. Just this week I saw a preview of a new show. Later, after my husband watched part of it he told me about the content. From his description I told him I didn’t want to watch it and asked him to remove it from the schedule. My plan is to not watch tv programs that are marginal.  I hope from this decision to more clearly feel and follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost and my conscience, in regard to entertainment. It is my plan to be humble enough to follow the Spirit.

4.       Alma told Helaman to learn wisdom, to learn the commandments of God, to pray for support, and to  let all his doings be unto the Lord. He continued to tell him to direct all his thoughts to the Lord and let all the affections of his heart be placed upon the Lord forever. Also to counsel with the Lord in all his doings and he will receive direction. His heart should always be full of thanks to God and he will be lifted up at the last day.

5.  In verse 22 the Lord said, if they did not repent they should be destroyed from off the face of the earth. Verse 25 says, unless they repent I will destroy them from off the face of the earth. Verse 26, and now, my son, we see that they did not repent; therefore they have been destroyed. I believe this warning is true for us today. I do not rule out natural disasters occurring which could cause large numbers of people to be destroyed, but I see many people being destroyed from sin itself. Addictions are destroying the character and soul of the citizens of this nation. In turn our nation has been weakened. Unfortunately, it seems as though we are working our way towards destruction

Book of Mormon Lesson 1 Scripture Activity 2

Scripture Activity Two

Here is a list of possible insights I learned from the Zoramites prayer in Alma 31:15-18:

1. They believe in God and that He is holy.
2. They believe He is a spirit. They believe that He has always been a spirit and will always be a spirit. They believed he was the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
3. They believe God has power in their lives. They believed they were separated from their brethren by God. They were grateful to be lead away from their brethren so they would not be bound down by the foolish traditions their brethren followed. The foolish tradition they were grateful to escape from was the belief of Christ. They believed a belief of Christ would lead their hearts away from God.
4. They do not follow the traditions of their fathers because they believed it to be childish.
5. They believed themselves to be the elect of God, that God chose them to be His holy children. They also believed they had been elected to be saved, while all those around them were to be cast by God’s wrath down to hell. They felt gratitude towards God for these favors.
6. They believed God had made it known that there would be no Christ.
7. They end their prayer with thanks again to God that they are chosen. They were grateful and they had a strong belief that they were chosen.

In contrast Alma prayed in Alma 31:26-35:

1.  He address’ God as Lord.
2. He has a relationship with the God and is comfortable asking a question about the wickedness of the children of men.
3. He knows that the Zoramites cry unto the Lord, but their hearts are not in their prayers. Alma recognizes they pray with their mouths, but it is the vain things of this world that are most important to them. He says that they are swallowed up in their pride and they are puffed up with their greatness.
4. Alma enumerates the outward show that indicates where their hearts really are. Included on the list are costly apparel, ringlets, bracelets, ornaments of gold, and all their precious things they are ornamented with.
5. He mentions that they say in their prayers that they are thankful to be a chosen people, yet others perish.
6. He tells the Lord that they believe they have been told that there will be no Christ.
7. He asks a second time how long the Lord will suffer such wickedness among men
8. He asks for strength in this trial and says the wickedness of the people causes him pain of soul.
9. He tells the Lord his heart is exceedingly sorrowful and asks for strength to bear this burden. He asks for patience as he suffers from the iniquity of the people.
10. He asks for comfort for himself and for those traveling with him. He is asking for comfort in Christ. He asks for success in his labor.
11. The success he is asking for is in bringing souls back to Christ.
12. He believes their souls are precious and they are worth saving. He calls them his brethren.
13. At the last he asks for power and wisdom to bring his brethren back to the Lord.

3.       In Alma 31:31-33 Alma says in his prayer that his heart is exceedingly sorrowful. He asks the Lord to comfort his soul in Christ. He then asks the Lord to grant unto him strength, that he might suffer with patience the afflictions which he will receive due to the iniquity of the people.
     In verse 32 he asks for comfort for his soul and for those travelling with him. He asks for success in their work of bringing them back to Christ.
   In verse 33 he asks for strength to bear their afflictions which they receive while working with iniquitous people.

4.  Alma was having success with the Zoramites that were poor and had been cast out of the synagogues. They were asking him if they should believe in one God, they wanted to obtain the fruit Alma had preached to them about. They wanted to know how to plant the word in their hearts and how to begin to exercise faith. He tells them it is a misunderstanding to believe that because they have been cast out of the synagogues that they are unable to worship God. He suggests to them to search the scriptures to see if that is true. From this he is telling them to plant the seed of faith or desire in their hearts, then read their scriptures.
5.     Alma 33:4-11 and Alma 34-17-29 teach about prayer:

1. God hears our prayers. (v 4 for thou has heard my prayer, v5 thou didst hear me, v6 thou didst hear me in my prayer, v7 thou didst hear me, v8 thou wilt hear them)
2. It doesn’t matter where we are where we pray, He hears our prayers. (v4  I was in the wilderness, v5 I did cry unto thee in my field, v6 I did turn to my house, v7 I di turn unto my closet, heard my cries in the midst of thy congregations, thou hast heard me when I have been cast our and despised by enemies, didst hear my cries )
3. God has influence on lives.  (v4  thou didst turn them to me)
4. God has mercy.  (v5 thou wast merciful unto me, v9 thou hast been merciful unto me)
5. God is merciful to His children when they cry unto Him privately v8.
6. God has anger towards the enemies of His servants and will visit them with anger and speedy destruction v10.
7. God heard Alma during his afflictions as he petitioned with sincerity.
   1. Verse 11 includes this phrase; it is because of the Son that thou hast been thus merciful unto me. Is it because Jesus Christ our advocate with the Father and seeing Alma suffer for His sake He pled for mercy in behalf of Alma and Alma received blessings from the Father? This takes place prior to the Atonement. Christ has not suffered yet for the sins or pains of the world. He then says he will pray to Him in all his afflictions for it is in God he has joy. Alma also says that judgments have been turned away, because of thy Son. Elder Bruce R McConkie said, “When the prophets speak of an infinite atonement, they mean just that. Its effects cover all men, the earth itself and all forms of life thereon, and reach out into the endless expanses of eternity”. Therefore Alma had an understanding of Jesus Christ and the Atonement. He believed the prophets and what they taught about the coming of their Savior, Jesus Christ. He called on the Father and received the healing power of Jesus Christ.

Alma 34:17-29

1. As we exercise faith, call on God, he will have mercy on us.
2. We must humble ourselves and continue in prayer.
3. We can pray in our fields over our flocks, in our homes over our households. We must pray morning, noon, and night. We can pray over our crops that we will prosper from them. We can pray over our flocks that they will increase.
4. We should pray against the power of our enemies. Pray against the devil, who is an enemy of all righteousness?
5. We are to pray in our closets and secret places. We are to pour out our souls in our wilderness.
6. When we are not in prayer, our hearts can be drawn to the Lord for our welfare and for the welfare of those around us. Elder Eyring said, “Our hearts can be drawn out to God only when they are filled with love for him and trust in His goodness” Love for others is an extension of our love of God.
7. In our dealings with others we are to help the needy, visit the sick and afflicted, give to them of our substance, otherwise our prayers are vain and do nothing for us. Without charity towards others we are hypocrites and deny the faith.  We will be cast out.

My husband recently told me he made a comment in Priesthood meeting about my prayers. I , of course, told him not to talk about me in Priesthood meeting. He told me that my prayers had changed and he feels like I am now praying to a friend. This was just a week or so ago, right as I was finishing my New Testament class. That being said, I personally feel like there is always room for improvement. I believe the scriptures. I believe Jesus Christ lived on the earth. He lived and died for all mankind. He is the light of the world. I receive answers to prayers. The answers I receive are usually answers to my gospel questions. As I am writing this I pulled out my patriarchal blessing because I wanted to remember a specific phrase. Instead I found a short paragraph about being blessed with faith, keeping commandments, knowing Christ and feeling his care for me. That is what I want to improve in my prayers, exactly what my patriarchal blessing is pointing out. With my new found understanding of faith from the lecture this lesson, I will ponder this paragraph and move forward. 

One New Thing Every Day

      As I was deleting email yesterday, in bed before getting up, I read a goodreads review written by Tori Eaton. She remarked on the book, I Dare Me: How I Rebooted and Recharged My Life by Doing Something New Every Day by Lu Ann Cahn. Tori gave this book a 5 out of 5, so I read more. I clicked on the book and found myself intrigued by the author and her story. I googled her name and found her blog. She is a cancer survivor and is my age. A few years ago started a blog based on doing one new thing every day. It developed into I dare me, which basically means she will say yes to new experiences, even when she is tired or busy and wants to say no.
      I would like to do this, starting right now. I want to try something new each day and dare myself by saying yes to new adventures. I looked at Lu Ann's list of firsts and picked one to try. It was to not look in a mirror all day long. I was so excited to begin. I got up to brush my teeth. I blocked my reflection in the mirror with the medicine cabinet door. I did it,I brushed my teeth without looking. I wasn't too concerned about my appearance as it was Saturday with no plans to go public! My Saturday chores included cleaning 3 bathrooms. That could be a challenge. I gathered my supplies and began. I found as I focused on the sink, the tub, the floor and I could avoid actually looking into the mirror. I also discovered I had options. I could focus on the rag cleaning the mirror, I could focus on my hand holding the rag, or I could stand at an angle where I couldn't see my reflection.  It was during this process of cleaning the mirror that I learned a life lesson. For me mirrors can be seen as a representation of anything that tempts us to focus on ourselves rather than others. I believe it is through learning to care for others (Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself) that we will develop Christ like attributes, thus getting caught up in our own reflection inhibits personal growth.
     Hygiene and appearance count in society. Later that day I pulled myself together, without a mirror, to go to dinner with my sister, her husband, and one of their daughters. It was low key at a Mexican restaurant, but no one noticed I didn't have the usual amount of makeup on or that my hair wasn't picture perfect. We were glad to be together to catch up on what is going on in our lives.
      I also found through this new experience that I was not as negative towards myself. When I see myself in a mirror I am looking for the flaws to correct. I reach up and smooth my hair or check to see if my diet is working yet. Then I start talking to myself with statement such as, "why are you so...or you are still so..." It was a nice break from myself!
      I am not throwing my mirrors out, yet. I do hope to remember to see them just as a tool to help me prepare myself to be my best, then go and serve others.

Alma 5:14 And now behold, I ask of you my brethren of the church, have we spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?