The most significant lesson learned this
semester was in connection with the Last Supper. When Jesus and the disciples
were in the Upper Room Jesus told them one would betray him. The immediate
response from the disciples was, “Is it I?” My initial thoughts focused in on
why these men would question themselves in connection with betrayal. In black
and white Judas is a prime example of betrayal. He received 30 pieces of silver
in exchange for the life of Jesus Christ. This betrayal came after being taught
and mentored by a member of the Godhead. With this definition in mind, the
question ‘is it I’ should not even be uttered by the other disciples. In applying
this scripture to myself I must ask myself if ‘it is I’ that betrays Jesus. The
answer is yes, every time I am dishonest, unkind, angry, selfish, or greedy and
this is the short list. In combination with a lesson in my Life Skills class I
learned that being defensive is a sign of entitlement, just another way I
betray my testimony of Jesus Christ. Here is an illustration of what I learned
and how it is changing my life. At work I review mortgage files for closing.
Documents in the file are time sensitive. I had a file for review that was
ready to go to closing. The processor left a note in the file to see her before
I cleared the file for closing. It was in the afternoon as I checked for her, at
her desk. She was not there any of three times I looked for her. As I was
preparing to leave I saw her with a friend coming back from a late lunch. In
that moment I decided I was justified to place the file in my desk and leave as
planned. Fast forward to the next morning, shortly after arriving at work, with
my supervisor at my desk questioning me about the file. In my defense, I told
her I had done my due diligence in clearing the file to close…it wasn’t my
fault she wasn't at her desk for two hours while I was looking for her. She is
the one that put the note in the file, then was not available. This event
happened the very week I was learning about entitlement and the question, ‘is
it I? As I continued to work that morning I finally calmed down and asked
myself, ‘is it I?’ The answer was yes, I had a part in this situation. I had
options, but had been selfish because I wanted to get out the door. I easily
could have passed the file to another employee and had them finish with the
processor. I did not need to place blame at the feet of the processor. She had
been in a meeting that afternoon, and then had taken her lunch hour. I did not
help her move that loan ahead. I went to the processor and admitted I had not
handled the situation correctly. I apologized and gave her permission to come
to my desk if this ever happens again and go through the drawers to find the
file and give it to someone else. She was kind and let me off the hook by
telling me the docs would still go out on time. I am still asking myself in
difficult situations ‘is it I.’ I am learning to look for solutions rather than
defenses. I feel more peace in my life as I apply this lesson.
The second lesson of
impact this semester has to do with this quote from Elder Cook, "How we relate and interact with each other
is a measure of our willingness to follow Jesus Christ." I have had a difficult time with
relationships in my life. I take offense, I feel rejected, and I am stubborn.
As I have studied the life and example of Jesus Christ I realize my
responsibility in difficult relationships and have a continued desire to change
myself and improve these relationships. Since getting married a long time ago,
most of our Christmas Eve celebrations have been with my husband’s family, with
traditional meals. I have carried that through with my own children as they
have grown up and married, until a few years ago when Chinese food was
introduced as the Christmas Eve food of choice. I have
struggled with this change. I have felt selfishness, anger, disappointment at
losing a tradition at the expense of some awkward moments with one my children.
This year another one of my children had a brilliant idea. She suggested we
adopt Christmas around the world on Christmas Eve which can include tamales,
crepes…and Chinese food. As my family grows we will have more return
missionaries, with new food experiences to introduce. We will more easily adapt
to new experiences without harming relationships. Very most importantly we will
be following the example of Jesus Christ.
The third lesson learned
is the encouragement I have received through the study of the life of Jesus Christ
is to continue to live worthy of the influence of the Holy Ghost. I have a
habit of justifying myself when my work is below standard by saying, “I did my
best.” I believe I should do my best,
but more important I want to do the Lord’s will. I cannot do this if I am not
in tune with the Holy Ghost. I pray to be worthy his influence. I ask in my
prayers to feel his influence and to act on those promptings. I also work at
recognizing promptings as promptings. I continue to fall short, but have a
greater desire to make progress.
This is my last assignment for this class. It feels appropriate to
say for both this assignment and this class…In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen
Thanks again…it has been very motivating for me to take this
class. Merry Christmas!
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