Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Tempting Fate

     Last night I posted that I would not compare myself to others. It does not change my situation and more often than not it creates negative feelings in me. I was feeling very good at work today. Diana asked me to have the Portland team sit by me as they are learning DocVelocity. It included a meet and greet, then a 15 minute session, then a lunch, then another 45 minute session. All that happened, except the last training session. In the mean time Diana came to me and asked me to help Paul order appraisals, even thought he cancels aren't caught up. Then later she came and asked me to help Andrew catch up on something he does, he will train me tomorrow. I was feeling pretty good, I feel like Diana can ask me to help and I always say yes. It was also fun to do something different, I am bored reviewing files. Well, on my ride home I find out my car pool buddy got her feelings hurt. Alison was in her office and pried out of her why and of course Keith and Diana were all apologizing and etc. Of course I remind myself that none of them would ever care if there was anything wrong with me. And I have learned to completely mask any personal feelings at work. So, instead of keeping the good feelings I had I compared myself and traded the good for negative. It wasn't until I was on my jog that I realized I had done what I didn't want to do. I must remember as the situation is happening, not after I am well into a comparison. I will try again tomorrow. I am late getting to bed and I am falling asleep.

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