Wednesday, February 12, 2014

February 12...Day 12?

    I am cracking myself up!  I have no idea what day I am on practicum wise, but I think the date is February 12. I stayed home from work with this sore throat, headache, and cough, cough, cough. So, it may not even be the 12th of February or the 12th day of the practicum, but it cracks me up that I think it is and I am sticking to this easy way of keeping track. It is a good thing no one is reading this...not noteworthy reading...but funny to me, because I am a counter. I inherited this from mom. Which leads to the question, "Did I inherit the obsession to count insignificant things or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)?  Either way I am keeping track of the days of this practicum.
     By the end of the practicum I believe I will understand happiness, but I am not sure if I will know how to be happy. I am losing hope, but some of that may be because I am sick. All my reading keeps telling me the way to happiness is by living the commandments. So then I examine myself and take out the fine tooth comb to try to discover what I am doing wrong. I think about the lady at work that consistently doesn't do her share of the work. Which leads to my comments about her to another person. Could these comments be the root of my unhappiness. I don't think so. Do I need to change that action...of course. Tonight in my reading service was mentioned a couple of times. Other than giving service through my calling, I do not currently go out of my way to do service. But, the phrase, "The straw that broke the camels back" comes to mind. I am juggling school, work, a little bit of laundry and housework. Adding service to my schedule would disrupt the balance and send my life into a tailspin. I would thoroughly enjoy going about in a state of giving constant service, if only my working day didn't take up so much time.
    So my dilemma is...is there specific commandments I should focus on to be happy...or maybe my unhappiness a bad habit I need to change.

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